DEAR MOTLEY CRUE:

"Every time you hear about (somebody) overdosing on drugs, it's always some really talented (person) ... It's always like Len Bias, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix or John Belushi.

The (people) you want to overdose, never would. Like Motley Crue. You could put them in a room with two tons of cocaine and they would walk out a half an hour later, yelling 'ROCK ON!'

Shit, they're still alive. FUCK. Now they are probably going to put out a double live album. God Damnit." - Denis Leary, "No Cure For Cancer"

Three decades ... and three live albums ... after that epic rant by Denis Leary — the chain-smoking comedian — Motley Crue is, indeed, still alive.

The band's career, though, died a long time ago.

The self-proclaimed "Saints of Los Angeles," were the baddest motherfuckers to strut down the Sunset Strip in the 1980s.

That, sadly, was a long time ago.

In 2025, Motley Crue is just a pathetic parody of itself, shamelessly chasing any vessel to make waves in a music scene which really couldn't care less about how cool the band used to be.

Motley's latest attempt to turn back the clock is ... SHOCKINGLY ... another greatest hits album!

The 19-song compilation, entitled "From the Beginning," features all those songs we all remember so fondly from a time when Vince Neil was skinny (and could sing) and Mick Mars was still in the band.

"Shout at the Devil"

"Looks That Kill"

"Smokin' In The Boys Room"

"Dr. Feelgood"

"Girls, Girls, Girls"

"Wild Side"

All the hits.

Again.

That track listing should look pretty familiar to everyone by now.

That's because those songs have been on almost every compilation album the band has released in the past 30 years, including "Decade of Decadence," 1991, "Greatest Hits," 1998, "The Best of Motley Crue," 2003, "Loud As Fuck," 2004, "Red, White & Crue," 2005, "Greatest Hits," 2009 and "The Dirt Soundtrack," 2019.

If you are keeping count ....

"From The Beginning" is the Crue's ninth greatest hits/compilation album.

The band has produced only nine studio albums (and none since 2008) in its entire catalog, which spans more than four decades.

But, hold on kiddies ...

This regurgitation of rehashed rock radio relics is DIFFERENT.

It has something VERY special.

It includes a "stunning new version of the band's revered classic 'Home Sweet Home' reimagined as a heartfelt duet with none other than globally beloved superstar Dolly Parton," a press release from the band stated.

Wow.

That's gotta be good, right?

RIGHT?

In a classic case of promotional propaganda, the "reimagined" classic isn't a duet at all. It's just Dolly —who actually is in the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame (unlike the Crue) — adding some vocals to the original studio version of the song.

Disappointing.

Some die-hard fans, though, will eagerly pre-order the two-LP vinyl edition of this "new" compilation and add it to their already bloated collection of unnecessary "Greatest Hits" releases.

I guess that's the band wants.

Honestly, I take no pleasure in ripping on the Crue. When I was a teenager, I thought Vince, Mick, Nikki and Tommy were four of the biggest badasses on the planet.

Me and all my friends wanted to be Motley Crue.

(One of my buddies even tricked the yearbook staff into putting "Vince Neal" — yes, misspelled — as his name in the school's annual publication).

Those first five albums were iconic to us — "Too Fast For Love," Shout At The Devil," "Theatre Of Pain," Girls, Girls, Girls" and "Dr. Feelgood."

We played them over and over and over.

And we knew every word.

But ... If someone had told me back then just how lame, pitiful and meager the band would become in the future — I wouldn't have believed it.

What can I say, It's really hard watching your heroes turn into pathetic losers begging for money.

Makes me sad.

And don't even get me started on Motley's increasing cringe-worth live performances — which continue more than a decade after they "retired" from touring.

The Crue, long ago, carved out their own unique place in the history of rock. The band led the charge of the hair metal invasion of the 1980s and recorded songs which will live on long after they all die.

It's time from them to stop shitting on their own legacy.

So, Motley ... please don't go away mad, just go away.

PLEASE!